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THE BLOGGY BIT...

This is where I ramble on about nothing in particular, in the hope that something may strike a chord with you, whether it be graphic design, football or real ale.

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Tuesday 30th November 2010 23:09

Having subjected my regular readers to my juvenile, yet undeniably funny humour yesterday, I thought I would finish this month on a rather civilised note by talking about another artist whose work is exceptional and full of clever humour.

Born in Bishop Aukland, County Durham in 1971, Sarah-Jane Szikora has been interested in art ever since she was just 4 years old. After leaving school, she then attended Northern art colleges, specialising in illustration and soon after she started a small business venture making 3D sculptures.
1993 saw the turning point for Sarah-Jane when she decided to become a full-time working artist and hasn't looked back since.

szikora

With several major UK exhibitions and regular showcases in both Selfridges and Harrods under her belt, she has well and truly made her mark within the world of art with her outrageously exaggerated figures and animals, as well as her naughty food and gingerbread men. Her attention to painting with such vibrantly sweet colours along with her amusing take on life in general would make even the grumpiest person smile (Someone like you, you mean? - Ed)
For much more information about Sarah-Jane and her fantastic artwork, please click on her logo above.

Monday 29th November 2010 18:47

Every now and again, you discover an absolute gem on the internet, something that you wished you'd discovered long before you had, yet it is just as rewarding discovering it when you did. The downside to this tale is that the publication I am about talk about only lasted 14 FREE issues, nevertheless, each one was superbly written with complete profanity. Fuck it, why not?

+1

The topics covered in the Plus One Magazine (spelled out, +1) ranged from music to art, photography to city guides and from fashion to the blatantly obscene. One subject that stuck out for me was an article all about the different cocks (penises, if you must - Ed) that animals possess. I tell you what, I was pissing myself laughing at some of them because I just couldn't believe what I was reading. Cocks shaped like shovels that 'scoop out' sperm deposited by previous fornicators and detachable cocks that swim by themselves, leaving the male to eventually die of apathy.
I'd have loved to have said that I wrote the following, unfortunately I can't. These following cock-related paragraphs belong to none other than Per Steinar Nielsen, with the illustration being owned by Adrian Peskin. Enjoy!

Dragonfly [Odonata]
This magnificent quad-winged pro-flyer has a cock shape that would mean instant ridicule in the showers after gym class if you were a sporty dragonfly. It's shaped like a shovel. A dragonfly spends most of its life as a larva. It just grows wings so it can start to fly around and shag. And they shag a lot. Female dragonflies get grabbed by the males left, right and centre and then intimately fertilised. But before they get down to business the male dragonfly uses his shovel-prick to scoop out the sperm of the dragonfly that just left out the door. It's all very romantic. This is an attempt to give each male an advantage in the big crazy game of evolution. The result is a big high-flying sex fest.

Blue Whale [Balaenoptera musculus]
The animal with the biggest wanger is of course the biggest animal on the planet. The longest whale cock ever measured was about 10 feet (3 m) long, that's 2 feet longer than the standard residential ceiling height. And that was a dead one. No one really knows how big a fully erect whale cock is because they don't really know where they mate. Along with dolphins and elephants the whale's cock is prehensile, which means he can move it around a bit. You know, for easier access. Also, a more official name for his schlong is dork, which makes calling people a dork slightly more fun.

Barnacle [Balanus balanoides]
Here he is; the John Holmes of the animal kingdom. The barnacle is the animal with the largest cock to body size ratio of all living organisms on this planet. Bow your heads. His dick can become up to ten times the length of his body. For a human this would mean dragging along a 60 feet (18 m) cock. The evolutionary reason behind his behemoth member is that once he's settled down on a rock or under a boat he's completely immobile for the rest of his life. So in order to reproduce he lets his old fella out to molest the females of the neighbourhood at long range, all done from the safety of his shell.

Bedbug [Cimex lectularius]
If you already thought that these bloodsucking little chaps were quite nasty then hold on, it gets worse. The bedbug's cock is like a sharp rod that he stabs into the female's body. She has no snatch so the male penetrates her with his sword-cock wherever he wants and ejaculates straight into her gut. The sperm then travels via her bloodstream to a special gland, where it's stored for future use. If she gets hungry she can actually decide to digest some sperm. Some males even go around raping other males, in the hope that some of their sperm will be passed on when the victim eventually stabs a female. Charming.

Fruit Fly [Drosophila bifurca]
This lucky little fly got included, not because of the freaky nature of his little fly-shaft, but because of what comes out of it. This fly makes the longest sperm in the world. Yes, you read right; long sperm. Unlike humans he doesn't produce a massive amount of sperm; he just makes a few really fucking long ones. His sperm is 2.4 inches long, or twenty times the length of his body. When mating he manages to coil up about 50 of these cable tadpoles inside the female. He's quite an artist.

Spotted Hyena [Crocuta crocuta]
Ok, here's a strange one. Well, stranger. When it comes to hyenas it's the female who wears the cojones. She's much larger than the guys and ranks higher in the pack. And between her legs she has a massive wanger. It's not technically a cock but a long shaft-like clitoris. The crazy part is that she can piss with it, retract it to get shagged by a poor wimpy male hyena and she has to give birth through it. Where her stuff would be were she a man, there is what's referred to as 'pseudo-testes'; two pouches filled with fatty tissue which serve no other purpose than to make her look like a well hung male. And the female hyena actually has more testosterone in her body than the males. She's one agro bitch-beast with a strap-on.

cock

Paper Nautilus Octopus [Argonauta]
The male paper nautilus is only 2 cm long and likes to hang around in open tropical waters. The female on the other hand can get over 10 cm long and can, unlike the male, grow a 30 cm big shell. She's huge and he's tiny, which has resulted in some intimacy issues between them. When the male finds a female he feels he wants to shag he detaches his cock, which will continue to swim by itself over to the female to do its business. It's a free roaming cock. Guys, imagine just opening the door and sending your cock off to get busy while you kick back and watch The Antiques Road Show or something. Only problem is that the male understandably gets lethargic after the loss of his best friend and stops eating which eventually results in him starving to death.

Garden Snail [Helix aspersa]
Everyone knows the garden snail. He likes to wreak havoc in your vegetable patch, he likes to drink beer and he melts if you put salt on him. He's also a she; he's a hermaphrodite and can choose what gender he wants to be. The funny thing about this little creature is that he has his cock in his head, literally. His Johnson is placed on the right side of his face and comes out like a snake during mating. To reproduce they connect their cocks together, I believe us humans call this 'docking', and they shoot a small dart of sperm into each other.

I shall try and locate other equally funny excerpts as and when, especially as I've managed to download all fourteen copies. Watch this space.

Sunday 28th November 2010 18:54

A few records were broken this weekend with regard to the Premiership, Manchester United's Dimitar Berbatov being a major contributor to it. On Saturday alone, there were 36 goals, making it the highest amount of goals ever scored on a single Saturday, and that was discounting the further five scored in today's two matches.

barclays premier league

Berbatov became the fourth ever player to score five goals in a single match; Manchester United actually scored seven in total, making the final result 7-1 against Blackburn Rovers. The three other players were Jermain Defoe when his team, Tottenham Hotspur, won 9-1 against Wigan Athletic last season, Newcastle United's Alan Shearer back in November 1999 when they beat Sheffield Wednesday 8-0 and Manchester United's Andy Cole when he was the first player in Premier League history to do it against Ipswich Town with a crushing 9-0 victory in March 1995.

The other bit of history made was that all 20 Premiership clubs managed to score at least one goal, making it the first ever time it had happened in its 18-year history (19th season). The results were as follows: Aston Villa 2-4 Arsenal, Bolton Wanderers 2-2 Blackpool, Everton 1-4 West Bromwich Albion, Fulham 1-1 Birmingham City, Manchester United 7-1 Blackburn Rovers, Newcastle United 1-1 Chelsea, Stoke City 1-1 Manchester City, Tottenham Hotspur 2-1 Liverpool, West Ham United 3-1 Wigan Athletic and finally, Wolverhampton Wanderers 3-2 Sunderland.
For more information about the Barclays Premier League, please click on the logo above.

Saturday 27th November 2010 11:36

Much to my dismay, I somehow landed myself into agreeing to go Christmas shopping today. Although I'm not one to think, "Shit, it's Christmas Eve and I haven't bought anything.", I'm also not one to think, "Hmmm… I must prepare myself before it's December, otherwise I may regret the very thought of Christmas." I'm an inbetweener. So, reluctantly, we left the house and headed for Chichester…

There are a set of printed rules that are issued to any woman who goes shopping with me. One of them is that after approximately an hour, I must be fed and watered, otherwise I turn into a psychotic twat. Thankfully, Tanya knows these rules off-by-heart and after visiting every shop in Chichester (or at least it felt like it), we hit the West Cornwall Pasty Company, situated on North Street, and somehow managed to sit at a table and stuff our faces with Potato Wedges and a Pasty each (the Chicken Balti ones are the dog's bollocks).

millets

Whilst we were in the city centre, we did manage to visit Millets and buy ourselves a pocket-sized ultra bright 9 LED Aluminium Torch, ready for the holiday we've booked for next year on Lundy Island (it's an essential piece of equipment for then, particularly as the electricity is turned off at midnight each night.)
The torch is made by Eurohike, one of the many brands associated with the Blacks Leisure Group plc, which Millets are also part of. Others include, freespirit, One Earth, Peter Storm, rarespecies and many others.
To find out more about Millets, please click on the logo above.

art for all

Another shop that attracted an awful lot of interest from me is also found on North Street and their shop window is always full of incredibly appealing and contemporary work. Members of the Fine Art Trade Guild, 'Art for all' houses one of the largest selections of both contemporary and traditional art anywhere in the country. Even if Chichester isn't within easy reach, you have the option of buying the displayed artwork online, and just in case there's a chance you may miss that sought after masterpiece, you can place your name of their mailing list so that you receive early notification of any new additions.
Please click on their logo above to view the top artists or the various categories that the art on display falls into.

Friday 26th November 2010 15:15

Ever needed something totally random? Computers are often the best source of generating randomness, yet most of these are pseudo-random, in other words, the reality is that they're created using a mathematical formula, rather than be random in the way a dice may be rolled or a lottery number drawn.

random.org

is a true random number service that generates randomness via atmospheric noise. This page explains why it's hard (and interesting) to get a computer to generate proper random numbers. Their service has been used since 1998 for holding draws, lotteries, sweepstakes and many other uses. The site was built and is still being operated by Mads Haahr of the School of Computer Science and Statistics at Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland.
To find out more randomness for yourself, please click on their logo above.

Thursday 25th November 2010 21:21

Having been given a brief by Malcolm at Irving Brewery on the 29th October, I'd managed to complete four of the five artworks he'd asked me to do, this last one, 'Frigate' being the most involved.
His brief read as follows... I had an idea of a similar stylised prow design but this time maybe the ship coming into port so perhaps a stylised Spinnaker tower (hope there are no issues regards using the image) and round tower or solent fort either side with a sun fading behind.

frigate

Locating an image, preferably taken from the water, proved difficult, however, I did find one. Since the illustrated pump clips have followed a distinct 'art deco' feel, I felt the same theme should be applied to this one as well. What's great is that I've followed the Portsmouth skyline with meticulous attention to detail, albeit that the artwork is more a representation of layers of sunlight recession.
Anyway, without further ado, here's what I submitted for his 3.8% ABV Golden Bitter.

Wednesday 24th November 2010 09:25

Up until Adobe released CS3 (Creative Suite 3), there used to be a bitmap graphics editor that was shipped with Adobe Photoshop for almost ten years. This program was called 'Adobe ImageReady' and was written in the C++ programming language. It was available for both Mac OSX and Windows platforms from 1998 to 2007, after which, it was discontinued.
First released as a standalone product, v1.0 became available in July 1998, followed by a further five releases, being bundled with Photoshop 9.0 (CS2) in May 2005.

imageready

Although the program had fewer features than Photoshop, it had been specifically designed for the quick edit of web graphics, rather than a photo-manipulation-based program. It was an absolute shame when they discontinued it, particularly as it had specialised features such as animated GIF creation, image compression optimisation, image slicing and rollover effects, as well as HTML generation.
Anyway, enough of my reminiscing, please click on application splash to find out more about 'Fireworks', the program that is Adobe's most comparable to date.

Tuesday 23rd November 2010 16:49

Since we're three years and one day old, I thought it time to hit civilisation with a gravitational thud. I haven't discussed an artist this month and, apart from when I talked about Mackenzie Thorpe, I've not actually covered any living artist, that is, until now.

With many forms of art, it appears as if you have to die to be appreciated, although there are a handful of artists out there who do actually receive critical acclaim to the point where they can enjoy the exposure and money whilst they're alive, particularly Texan-based Rosemary Pierce-Lackey.

rosemary pierce-lackey

Her passion for art actually helped put her on the map, especially as she openly admits that she's never attended an art class in her life. At the age of 40, having become unsettled in her high-flying and stressful business life, she bit the bullet and opted to take a huge diversion with her career by ending it all and becoming a full-time professional artist.
It was a huge gamble to take, particularly as she had no experience and was completely self-taught, yet it all paid off for her. She is aware that her work is continually evolving with it giving her the opportunity to embrace new things. Each piece of work is complex and extremely detailed, allowing her to express how she sees life in each piece, complex yet wonderfully colourful.
Please click on the image above, which happens to be her, 'Paths Traveled No.1' piece, to find out more about her.

Monday 22nd November 2010 17:28

Well, I realised something spooky a few weeks ago… Damien, Tanya's brother, shares his birthday with my blog, so, without further ado, a very happy birthday to the both of you! The only difference is, Damien is 35 years older than my blog. We'd invited him round for tea (dinner if you're a southern posh tart) and we also handed him his birthday presents, tickets for the three of us to go and watch Sean Lock at Chichester Festival Theatre in December (I cannot wait!) and four bottles of real ale for him to enjoy.

3rd blog cake

Time to hand my blog its birthday cake and wish it a very happy 3rd birthday… incredible I've managed to keep it going for so long, my blog that is, I've only just lit the candles so will someone please blow them out if I'm not around?

Sunday 21st November 2010 07:33

Whilst over at Irving Brewery on Wednesday evening, Malcolm talked about the old Gales Brewery building over at Horndean and how images of it now would pull at his heartstrings. The following day, he sent me a link to a video that was filmed and directed by a small but experienced video production company based on Hayling Island.

bob ede

Bob Ede Film & TV Ltd have a long and impressive list of broadcast and corporate credits and have produced work for national companies, international organisations as well as work for the BBC, ITV, Channel 4 and Channel 5.
To view the video narrated by Richard Briers, please click on their logo above.

my fonts

Having watched the fifteen-minute video, I wanted to include a link to it on my blog, only I couldn't find a decent copy of it, nor did I know what font had been used either… I was half-expecting it to be one of those fonts what I would never know the name of, until someone on the 'What The Font' forum came to my rescue. Not only did someone kindly identify it for me, they directed me to the dafont.com site where I could download it for free!
As a matter of interest, it's called Eurofurence and was designed by Tobias Benjamin Köhler. I would direct you to his site, only it appears to be down with the words, "Hier entsteht eine neue Internetpräsenz!" which apparently translate to, "Here is a new web presence", whatever that means!
Anyway, if you're desperate to find a specific font, please click on the My Fonts logo above.

Saturday 20th November 2010 17:00

Since Tanya was busying herself with a post-exhibition meeting, it meant I had some free time so I chose to take yet another trip to Southwick Brewhouse in order to get Damien a few beers as a little extra for his birthday on Monday. We'd already sorted something else out for him, which I'll be able to reveal, come Monday. (So, was that the joy? - Ed)

Anyway, it just so happened that Tanya had arrived back from her meeting at pretty much the same time as I arrived home from buying several real ales, so, since we were both ravenous, we popped into Emsworth to buy ourselves some baguettes and eat them down on the quay. (Joy? - Ed)

Strangely enough, we somehow managed to get back home in time for the start of the majority of Premiership games; Bolton were facing high-flying Newcastle and, after the severe drubbing they'd given to several Premiership clubs this season, it was a game that I was very apprehensive about watching. It's easy enough to find virtually any football game as a live stream, although I have noticed that one I relied on so heavily, no longer exists, so the legalities of such websites has obviously been questioned.
If you are interested in watching live Premiership streams, you'll have to download an add-on from a website called vShare.

vShare.tv

Recently launched in April 2009, vShare has become the most popular web-based destination for instant video streaming. People worldwide can upload their own internet television channel and share it with an unlimited audience. Use of this site is free, secure and high quality and the company aim to become the global leader within the video streaming industry.
To find out more about the company, please click on their logo above.

So, back to the match (I hope this is the joy because I'm losing the will to live - Ed). A 22,203 crowd at the Reebok witnessed one of Bolton's most impressive displays of football ever. In previous seasons, the scoreline at the Reebok has been in Bolton's favour winning 1-0 (28th March 2004), 2-1 (31st October 2004), 2-0 (24th August 2005), 2-1 (26th December 2006), losing 1-3 (11th August 2007) and finally winning 1-0 (1st March 2009). So, the chances were that Bolton should and would win.

It was Kevin Nolan's first return to the Reebok since he left the club to go to Newcastle two seasons ago (Newcastle were relegated the season before last, hence the gap)… unfortunately, his return turned out to be a bit of a nightmare with what would be construed as a deliberate handball in the penalty area… up steps Kevin Davies to take it and, after 18 minutes, it was 1-0 to The Trotters. From there, the rout began, Chung-Yong Lee scoring a superbly taken goal after Matt Taylor had struck the bar with a 39th minute free-kick. The teams went into break with Bolton leading 2-0.

In the 50th minute Johan Elmander scored a superb individual goal to make it 3-0 and, some two minutes later, Bolton's defence switched off for the first time in the game, allowing Andy Carroll to score his eighth of the season. Game on! In the 72nd minute Elmander took his goal tally to two, joining Andy Carroll as the leading scorer in the Premiership this season, making the scoreline 4-1. Just as it couldn't get any worse for Newcastle United, Bolton were incorrectly awarded a penalty in the dying seconds of the game (90+2 minutes, to be precise)… up stepped Kevin Davies again to make it 5-1. Amazing stuff.

Friday 19th November 2010 16:38

Food, glorious food… I've not spoken about it for quite some time, and it's something I love, whether it's eating it or cooking it, or inevitably both.

One of our favourite dishes at the moment is Chili Con Carne, especially at this time of year, it's one of those satisfyingly filling dishes that push the cold dreariness of winter to one side. I'm sure there are many many recipes available both in books and on the internet, yet I use one that should still have a presence on the Tesco website… along with my own little adaptations here and there.

napolina

Two of the ingredients I use are produced by Napolina, a company first established in Italy and launched in the United Kingdom as long ago as 1965. It was all started by Naples businessman, Marino Iandiorio after he'd bought his first tomato vines. From there, he became so passionate about the quality of his produce, he formed Napolina which, when translated, means 'Little Naples', the distinctive 'N' of the logo being based on the profile of Mount Vesuvius.
As well as be famous for their range of tomato-based products, they also have a superb range of pulses, including Red Kidney Beans, the essential ingredient in Chili Con Carne.
Please click on their logo above to find out more about the company.

tilda

There are many accompanying foods that go with Chili Con Carne, where it be rice, jacket potato, chips are even pitta bread, nevertheless, we always try and opt to have the most healthy, and that's obviously rice. If you're going to buy rice, I'd say buy the best, and the best has to be Tilda rice.
Over thirty years ago, Tilda was the first company to bring Basmati rice to the western world and has since become an international food brand, selling in over forty countries. It first started its business selling Basmati to the Asian community who immigrated to the United Kingdom in the late sixties and early seventies.
Tilda now offer a huge range of rices, one of which is our favourite, Thai Jasmine rice. Although this sticky rice is predominantly intended for all types of Oriental food, it goes perfectly with Chili Con Carne… the packet is sunflower yellow in colour.
To find out more about their legendary rice, please click on their logo above.

Thursday 18th November 2010 07:02

Following on from last night's visit to Irving Brewery, I'd discussed the latest artwork I'd submitted to Malcolm for his classic stout, 'Admiral'. Whilst there, he made a couple of comments about what could be improved and I took those on board, sending the amended artwork over to him last night.

This morning, he'd replied with a resounding, "Yep", so that was pump clip four approved from a possible five. Great stuff.
Having had all that shit earlier in the week about a lowercase 'h' thrown at me, thankfully there are a handful of people out there who have a good understanding of graphic design, one of the understandings is that it doesn't have a set of rules, why should it have?

admiral

One of my bugbears is when fonts are unnecessarily expanded or condensed, yet sometimes there is little you can do, particularly when a specific font had been chosen to represent a brand. Often, you find that a specific word may take too little or too much of an allotted amount of room and therefore it leaves you with no other alternative. Even though I'd tried everything in my power to avoid such an eventuality, the word 'Admiral', set in Compacta Bold, just wasn't fitting in the space using the conventional size and spacing, so I had no alternative than to expand it slightly… I suspect the 'Frigate' pump clip will be the same.
So, the finished and amended artwork can be seen above. Please click on it to find out more about Irving Brewery.

Wednesday 17th November 2010 10:57

Another one of those internet discoveries today… a site called 4shared which provides its users with high-quality free online file hosting and sharing services.
Founded in 2005, it has a team of highly qualified specialists within the world of programming, web design and marketing.

4shared

Since it began, it has gained popularity amongst internet users all over the world and its users can upload and store or download music, video, photographs, documents and many other file types. The main principle of the 4shared creators is to satisfy the needs of internet users who have the need to host or share their own data. Therefore they exert every effort into providing a service that is effective and user-friendly.
To find out more, please click on the logo above.

Later on in the day, we took up Malcolm's invitation to go to Irving Brewery and sample his Christmas Ale, 'Red Plum', which had been brewed earlier this week. We were very much looking forward to it, especially as it was a new ale to try, plus it also gave me an opportunity to see the pump clips I'd designed, 'in the flesh'.
It's now Sunday afternoon and rather than go off my memory, I've poured myself another taster of the four pint carton that Malcolm kindly gave to us… so, this is my live review of 'Red Plum'. Actually, before I start, some readers may wonder why the name 'Red Plum', especially as every other one of Irving's ales has a naval theme. Well, due to HMS Endurance's bright red hull, she was nicknamed, 'The Red Plum'. Coincidentally, the Royal Navy acquired the ship in 1967, the year I was born.

HMS endurance

First of all, appearance-wise it's a deep copper colour and has a distinctly fruity nose with an underlying spiciness with a hint of oranges and vanilla. At 5.0% ABV, it has a superb warm feeling as it slips down your gullet like some of the finest whiskies. The spiciness and distinct orange and cherry fruitiness make this an exceptional ale and would make a superb accompaniment to anyone's Christmas Dinner… which reminds me, must buy some off him for ours.

Tuesday 16th November 2010 15:51

One of the biggest customers where I freelance is NAAFI and for the three years I've been there, we've struggled on numerous occasions to obtain decent artworks from them and the MOD, especially of the ship's crests (or badges as they're officially known)… that was until today.

American and Russian-based Vector-Images.com was founded as far back as 2002, originally they were nothing more than a small web studio that offered a limited number of heraldic vector images. Since then though, they're now the leading vector graphics web provider in Eastern Europe and the company is continuing to grow. Now with a creative team of over 30 artists and illustrators from Europe, Asia and America and have created more than 20,000 vector clip art images in many separate collections.

vector-images.com

What's even more crazy is the price of some of these packages; the British Royal Navy Ship Crests alone has 80 different images, including the Royal Navy logo, and amounts to nothing more than $36.95 and can be downloaded as either CorelDraw 9 (CDR), EPS 7, WMF or JPG (1500px). Once registered and the package paid for, you have download access for six months with no download limit.
To find out more, please click on the logo above.

Monday 15th November 2010 12:11

Over the weekend, a very controversial point was made about the logo I had designed for Havant Camera Club's recent exhibition. To put it in a nutshell, it was a battle between designers and the English Grammar Police. Once you've read this saga, I'd be very interested to know your thoughts on the subject.

I'm sure the regular readers of my blog would suggest I have a decent command and knowledge of the English language and its grammar, as I'm sure the same could be said about my use of punctuation. Good, I'm glad we're all in agreement so far.

On Saturday morning, whilst stewarding at the exhibition, Ron, the current chairman of Havant Camera Club, pointed out that someone wasn't too happy about the use of a lowercase 'h' for the word 'Havant' and that it should be a capital 'H', for it's a place name and all place names have capitals, otherwise it's construed as bad grammar. Having been very pissed off about the confrontation, I did manage to calm down considerably, that was until I received the following email that night…

The fact of the matter is that this is just bad English ! and I don't think the club should have as its logo something which exacerbates the current trend in promoting poor grammar. My darling wife fights this corner on a daily basis as the adult world condemn the youth of today for their inability to punctuate, being surrounded by poor examples to follow. The Upper case H logo looks perfectly fine.

Now then, whilst I agree with that rule entirely, especially if a said place name was used within body copy, logo design is a separate entity entirely. There are no rules about grammar when it comes to logo design, it's more about producing something that flows and is aesthetically correct.

Hgate

Furthermore to what has now turned out to be the biggest debate since the chicken and egg scenario, I've been in touch with several people, all of whom I have the utmost regard for, whether it be as a designer or someone who has an excellent command of the English language, or both.

The conclusion to this battle is that the designer point of view wins hands down, and the majority of the English Grammar Police sided with the designers. Here are a few relevant replies I received whilst trying to fathom out who was right and who should have kept quiet from the outset…

Some logos look great as lower case, even if they are place names that would normally have a cap first letter eg eurostar or bp; others look good as all caps eg IBM or BOSCH. Logo design is much more about the aesthetics and relevance of the whole, so I think it is probably irrelevant whether the typestyle is caps, l/c or u/l. It is about the overall effect of the logo as a brand mark and often is a graphic device with little or no wording at all eg the nike tick.
It is quite common to mess around with cases in logos. Examples are toysRus where the middle R is mirror imaged or more th>n where the 'a' in than is replaced with a '>'.

And here are a two more takes from actual members of Havant Camera Club's committee…

It used to annoy me greatly when at work people who should know better used to question my financial expertise built up by qualification and experience over many years so I can empathise with Ian's reaction. Hopefully sanity will now prevail and I will try to ensure the right decision is made at the committee meeting.

I have also heard about the logo saga and if our photographers/committee can't recognise a design concept then we're doomed!!

And finally, two more comments made by people who have an excellent command of the English language…

I think Steve is confusing the rules of formal language with design. In written English I would always write it Havant but in the context of an artistic design there should be room for 'poetic licence' where the rules can be bent or broken to achieve a desired effect.
Steve is looking at it one way and you are looking at it from the other point of view. Personally I like your 'take' and if a number of others on the committee were happy with it then I think Steve should accept that and stop getting hysterical about it.

Clearly this is just another example of 'why have a dog and bark yourself'. The arrogance of the individuals you are having to deal with is quite beyond the pale. 
It is obvious they have a poor understanding of graphic 'licence', graphic possibilities and graphic alphabetical interpretation.


I sincerely hope that this particular blog receives the 'design over grammar rules' recognition it so richly deserves, and that people, the world over, will finally back down and accept that design prevails. As someone quite rightly put in their email to me, "Don't let the bastards grind you down."
Don't worry, I won't.

Sunday 14th November 2010 15:38

Did very little today, apart from watch some Premiership football on Sky Sports, catch up with my blog and make my weekly visit to Morrisons in Horndean for my stash of bananas, buy our bread rolls for the week and, today, I'd decided to stock up on my Pickled Onion Monster Munch because we'd raided our stock too much over the weekend.

monster munch

In 1977, I remember Monster Munch being colossally huge in size, yet that may well have had something to do with me being substantially smaller back then… after all, I was only ten years old. Anyway, it turns out that one of the most frequently asked questions in the world of Monster Munch followers is, "Were Monster Munch bigger when I was a kid? Or was I smaller?" Well, the answer is that the snacks were bigger back then, almost twice the size of what they have been in recent years. The good thing is though, they're now back to their original size and are as tasty as I remember them.
There are three flavours available, Pickled Onion, Roast Beef and Flamin' Hot. The Monster Munch website is good fun and I suggest you play the 'Pap the Monsters' game, it's quite addictive.
Please click on the Monster Munch logo above to find out more.

Saturday 13th November 2010 08:15

We both had to be out of the house before 09:00 this morning because we'd agreed to steward the 40th National Exhibition of Photography, hosted by Havant Camera Club at the Meridian Shopping Centre in Havant. Luckily, James, another member, had agreed to join us, so we had someone else to talk to, as well as each other.
All of us felt very reluctant as we made our way there, however, it actually proved to be a very enjoyable experience, especially as we ended up having the most visitors to it than anyone else since it had opened last weekend. It ended up being a complete reversal of feelings when it was time to leave, to the point where we'd have been happy enough to stay there for the full day.
Each of us had chance to leave the premises to go and have a walk around and, more importantly, buy food. Greggs had some good custom whilst we were there… bacon rolls and numerous pasties.

Once we'd finished our stint, I decided to go and pay the Southwick Brewhouse a long-awaited visit, for it had been quite some time since I was last there. When I arrived, I think Al muttered something like, "Ee by gum" which implied he'd recognised me. It was very busy there, mainly due to a party of six people who seemed to purchasing the majority of the shop, I kid you not… some quarter of an hour later, they'd spent £174.77 on ale. Fuck me, that's some spending.

wold top brewery

It had proved beneficial for the lapse in visits… there were a good few new ales for me to buy, many of which were by breweries I hadn't come across before, namely two Yorkshire-based ones, Driffield's 'Wold Top Brewery' and Harrogate's 'Daleside Brewery'.
Of the nine beers I bought, I'll review two that I drank tonight. They are, 'Wold Gold' and 'Monkey Wrench'.

'Wold Gold' is an exceptional blonde beer, one that you could imagine drinking several of, sat outside a homely pub somewhere in the Yorkshire Dales. Definitely one to be described as a session ale, although its 4.8% ABV may tip it over the session ale status. With a heady mix of Marris Otter, wheat and Cara malt, together with Goldings and Styrian hops, this beer has a soft yet fruity and zesty flavour, along with a hint of spiciness. One of the best blonde ales I've had in a long time.
For more information about Wold Top Brewery, please click on the logo above, which was kindly provided to me by Gill Mellor of the husband and wife team.

daleside

'Monkey Wrench' is a strong ale, dark brown in colour and has malty and nutty aroma. At 5.3% ABV it has a very balanced flavour which is malty and fruity, with a hint of banana along with dark fruit notes as well. A very smooth and enjoyable ale.
To find out more about Daleside Brewery, please click on their logo above.

Friday 12th November 2010 17:56

Further to the designs I'm doing for Irving Brewery's pump clips, Malcolm provided me with an idea he liked for his Type 42 Best Bitter. After making a couple of alterations, I'm delighted to say that this has also been approved. I'd been given five to design, 'Invincible', 'Red Plum', 'Type 42', 'Admiral' and 'Frigate'.

type 42

Tanya and I also managed to make the Cute Little Soles website live. Following on from the patchwork design I created, we designed a website layout and Tanya put it all together tonight. There is still some work to be done but at least they have somewhere to direct their customers to.

cute little soles

Eventually, a gallery of the footwear will be included, yet whilst the supplier of the shoes is sending over substandard photographs, it's as well to keep them relatively small for the time-being.
Please click on the Cute Little Soles logo I designed to have a look at what we've done.

Thursday 11th November 2010 12:41

I have spent hours upon hours on occasions, trying to develop that perfect gradated metallic look in Illustrator. In some previous versions of Illustrator, there have been a couple of different ones, one where it's the combination of black and white and the other was a far more distinctive metallic look. Since I was creating something today that needed such a gradient, I decided to do a quick 'Google' to see what came up.

illustrator metal gradients

Remarkably, there's a whole host of them, ranging from a series of golds, right the way through to chromes and even coloured metallics, all developed by a Frenchman who goes by the name of TrabzonSport on DeviantArt.
As you can see, I've included an image of the wide range of gradients he's created. To download your own copy, please click on the 'Download File' graphic, to the right of the page you'll be directed to. You must then make sure you follow his instructions once uncompressed.

Wednesday 10th November 2010 14:17

Of late, both Tanya and I have been immensely busy, immersed in many different projects, so on the way home from freelancing today, I decided to stop by at the General Wine Company in Petersfield so I could buy some beers and hopefully chill out a little tonight, whilst trying to work and watch the Everton v Bolton match at the time (it finished 1-1, with a 90+ minute equaliser from Everton - gutted).

sharp's

I managed to pick up two real ales that I'd never tried before, they were 'Atlantic IPA' by Cornwall-based Sharp's Brewery, 4.8% ABV and 'Pickled Santa', a 6% ABV Christmas ale from Wiltshire-based Hop Back Brewery.
For those who are unaware what IPA stands for, it's 'Indian Pale Ale' and brews like this have been around since the 19th Century. They were made and naturally preserved by a high alcohol content and strong hops so that they could survive the long and hot journeys over to India at the time.
'Atlantic IPA' has been brewed under the same principals but with a modern twist, creating a crisp, light golden-coloured ale with a moreish dry finish.
For more information about the ale and Sharp's Brewery, please click on the logo above.

pickled santa

'Pickled Santa', on the other hand, is totally different. Essentially, it's a strong-flavoured chestnut-coloured beer, with hints of various spices, namely cinnamon, coriander and nutmeg. This ale is probably not to everyone's taste (Tanya wasn't particularly keen), yet I thought it captured the whole essence of Christmas with those rich and satisfying tastes that are ever-present in food at that time of year.
Please click on the American version of the beer label to find out more about Hop Back Brewery.

Tuesday 9th November 2010 15:42

A new client of ours has asked for a substantial amount of work to be done. I'd previously designed the logo for them, submitting one design and them instantly liking it. Strangely enough though, I designed it at the end of August after having a meeting with them, and in just over two months, I'm not all that keen on it now. Weird how your taste can change so quickly.

patchwork background

Anyway, before they'd even contacted us, they'd had some business cards printed at a well-known printers and had used one of their business card templates. This particular template included a sort of patchwork design, using a mixture of earthy and pastel colours, focussed on elements of nature. I'd have expected that this was probably a painting at some time, rather than a vector-based graphics, nevertheless, they wanted it as part of a poster design… this was going to be some challenge.
An image of how I interpreted it can be seen above.

adobe illustrator

Luckily, Adobe Illustrator, a superb graphics-based program, allows you to create such intricate designs relatively easily. When I say 'easily', I'm using it very loosely, especially as I've been using some form of the program since 1988. The latest versions of Adobe Creative Suite have progressed incredibly over the years, to the point where you're now able to use many of the Photoshop filters within it. The two software programs have to be the most exciting and versatile on the market today, as well as CorelDraw (you're bullshitting me now, right? - Ed)
For more information about Adobe Illustrator, please click on their current logo above.

Monday 8th November 2010 16:38

Stumbled upon one of those great vector artwork websites today, this one being Vector Jungle, home of free royalty-free vector graphics. They actually want you to fill your hard-drive with as many goodies as you wish. You're welcome to use their images for your own personal and commercial projects although they do have a terms of usage page which is worth a read. One thing they do state is that you cannot redistribute or sell your work as your own.

vectorjungle.com

If you have Adobe Illustrator 8.0 or above, you are home free. You will be able to move objects change colours, delete and add at will. If you don’t have Adobe Illustrator 8.0 you will need a program that can manipulate EPS, AI and/or PDF files. Anything from Adobe AfterEffects, Photoshop, InDesign, Cinema 4D etc.
To find out more, please click on the logo above… I've directed you to the Christmas vector-based artworks, in case you're possibly feeling festive.

Sunday 7th November 2010 08:15

The day started with a pleasant morning weather-wise, so we decided to go straight out for a walk, even without a cup of tea, would you believe. I'd suggested Staunton Country Park because it's about five minute's drive away, plus we'd not been there for quite some time.

Staunton Country Park is home to the remains of the original Leigh Park House, which was demolished in the early 1859 by William Stone, but is best remembered as the home for nearly forty years of Sir George Thomas Staunton, who bought the estate in 1819, although the history of the house can be traced back a further fifty years.

green flag award

The Park has received the Green Flag Award, a scheme which is managed by the Civic Trust and represents the national standard for parks and green spaces. The awards recognise those sites which have been judged to be welcoming, safe and well-maintained with strong involvement of the local community.
The Green Flag Award Scheme recognises and rewards the best green spaces in the country. For 2009/2010, a record number of awards were made with over 1000 parks and green spaces currently flying a Green Flag or Green Flag Community Award.
To find out more, please click on the logo above.

Saturday 6th November 2010 10:00

Hmmm… Tanya had made arrangements with some friends of ours to go out on a photographic excursion this morning, followed by lunch somewhere. I have to say that I was somewhat gutted because this excursion meant that I would be missing a live Premiership football match between Bolton Wanderers v Tottenham Hotspur. Bollocks.

Having said that though, I wasn't expecting anything other than a Tottenham win, despite it being played at the Reebok. So long as I kept telling myself that, I'd be okay.
We'd arranged to meet everyone at the Queen Elizabeth Country Park, just outside of Petersfield, before then going in convoy to Waggoners Wells, near Hindhead (yes, we were there just a couple of weeks ago with my parents). Both couples, Mike and Kerry and Neil and Karen have dogs. We'd met Bertie, Mike and Kerry's dog about three years ago, when we first visited Waggoners Wells and we'd met the other one of Neil and Karen's dogs before, but not Dylan, who they'd brought along today.

the palette of autumn

It didn't take us long to get there, once Tanya and I put our SatNav on - up until then it had been a wild goose chase, even though it had only been a fortnight since we were last there. We spent quite some time walking through the wooded areas and taking lots of photographs, the image above being my favourite of the day.

fuller's red fox

Once we'd had our fill of fresh air and autumn, we headed for a pub, namely The Red Lion in Chalton, part of Waterlooville. This picturesque Fuller's owned pub is surrounding by beautiful Hampshire countryside and dates back to the 12th Century. Not only that, it still retains many of its original features, especially the inglenook fireplace. The pub is also well known locally for its excellent food, all freshly prepared using a large amount of locally sourced produce.
Its reputation exceeded itself and we all thoroughly enjoyed our meals (I'd ordered fish and chips and it was excellent) and our drinks… yes, even though it was a Fuller's pub, I spotted an ale I'd not tried before called, 'Red Fox', tawny red in colour, this 4.3% ABV autumnal favourite is bursting with malty flavours. As well as that, it's brewed with toasted oats, giving it a superb distinctive biscuit flavour and a mellow aftertaste.
To find out more about Fuller's Brewery and 'Red Fox', please click on the pump clip above.

So, quickly back to football… Bolton only went and won 4-2 with two goals from skipper Kevin Davies (31, pen 76), one of which was a superbly taken penalty, and the other two goals came from Gretar Steinsson with a screwed in angled drive (56) and an injury time piece of genius came from Martin Petrov (90+4). What a superb result, maintaining the fact that Spurs haven't won at the Reebok in the past ten years.

Friday 5th November 2010 17:30

After a totally hectic week, Tanya and I had been invited to the opening of the 40th National Open Exhibition of Photography, organised and hosted by Havant Camera Club. The time of the event was a little awkward for us, particularly as I still had work to complete before we both attended.

HCC exhibition banner

It was officially opened by the Mayor of Havant, Councillor Yvonne Weeks, with the awards and certificates being handed out by her towards the end of the evening. Remarkably, the space provided to us by the Meridian Shopping Centre was free, as well as the fact that it's within a secure unit, along with its very own kitchen and toilets.

The exhibition runs from Saturday 6th - Sunday 14th November and is located on the first floor of the Meridian Shopping Centre, next to the lifts. It's open from 9:00am - 5:00pm, Monday to Saturday and from 10:00am - 4:00pm on Sundays.
Please click on the poster I designed to find out more.

Thursday 4th November 2010 07:33

Yesterday was incredibly important to me, for it was my third anniversary of not smoking. As I have said in a previous blog, the longest I'd been without a cigarette was over four years so I still haven't broken that record yet, and I have absolutely every intention to never smoke again. Since stopping three years ago, I have hardly been tempted to have one, except when I've been absolutely pissed out of my head, which isn't that often, and even when I've thought about it, the thought of the taste and light-headedness have completely put me off.

Not only do I find the habit disgusting, it's the fact that I've probably damaged my health considerably, without putting my body through any more of it. Since I'm in my early forties, there's a chance that my body may have time to repair itself a little, whereas if I carried on, who knows what sort of damage I'd have been putting my body through.
There are many organisations out there to help smokers quit. The NHS is probably the largest one of those, yet there are voluntary-run ones that dedicate just as much time and passion into helping individuals out, 'Quit' being one of them.

quit,org

Luckily, for me, it was a battle against will power more than anything else, yet the majority of smokers need far more help than that. Quit's aim is to significantly reduce unnecessary suffering and death from smoking related diseases and aim towards a smoke free UK in the future. As an ex-smoker, I know that this is a very tall order, especially if the smoker enjoys smoking like I used to. In fact, when I did smoke, I felt the need to completely rebel against days such as, 'National No Smoking Day', particularly as I felt I was being told what to do - definitely the worse thing you could ever put on a smoker.
Nevertheless, if it's a hard habit to break, yet you want to go for it, please click on the Quit logo above.

Wednesday 3rd November 2010 23:38

It looks very much like 'Design Week' this week, mainly because I've been incredibly busy designing or drawing stuff in Illustrator. As well as all the other jobs I have on the go, I'm almost at completion stage with a new price list that I'm doing for Tanya's boss, which involves a major 3D drawing.

truss

One particular product of his is called a Compound Plus; this allows you to connect several Radiolinks to a single advanced handheld display and view individual loads, as well as a total load, up to a maximum of twelve Radiolinks in a single system. Now then, that may well sound like absolute gobbledygook to you, however, with the sparklingly new graphic, the whole process will be explained, even to those who have little idea.
To find out more about Straightpoint and the product itself, please click on the truss drawing above.

Tuesday 2nd November 2010 19:05

Further to Malcolm wanting me to design the 'Invincible' pump clip, he'd also asked for another four designs for other ales he produces, this time it was for his seasonal 'Red Plum' Christmas ale. Unlike some who ask for designs, Malcolm is incredibly decisive about what he does and doesn't like, especially as he'd designed all the original pump clips, with a good knowledge of CorelDraw. Now then, I know I probably sound like a total hypocrite, taking into account that I cannot understand why people use that program, yet if your company is still in its infancy and you're looking at ways to cut costs, CorelDraw is the answer (Think you may have bluffed them there - Ed).

irving brewery - red plum

So, without further ado, here's the 'Red Plum' pump clip design, which has since been approved.
Red Plum is a seasonal ale, and at 5% ABV, it's the way to spend your Christmas, I'm sure. It's one of Irving Breweries ales that I've not had the chance to savour yet, although I'm sure that will change, given time!
To find out more about Irving Brewery's seasonal ales, please click on the new pump clip design above.

Monday 1st November 2010 14:38

It's quickly come to that time of year where things start to be a struggle for cars, colder mornings being the major cause of it. Another thing that does change is how your tyres react to the colder weather causing them to contract slightly, resulting in seepages of air. Earlier in the year, I thought I'd been really clever by purchasing some metal dust caps for my tyre valves due to the fact that the scrotum kids in our street think it's funny taking the plastic ones off. You do wonder if they'd still think they were clever by having a garden spade twatted over their heads… if only.

WD-40

Anyway, the reason for my short rant is that the metal dust caps have oxidised and planted themselves firmly on the actual valves of the tyres, to the point where they had become immovable. It was time to buy something that would solve the problem… WD-40.
Now then, WD-40 is very much a household name and the product was originally designed to repel water and prevent rust and corrosion of the Atlas missile although since then it has been found to have numerous household uses. Developed in 1953 by Norm Larsen, founder of the San Diego-based Rocket Chemical Company, the product first became commercially available in 1958. Before I direct you to their website, I just want to share one last bit of interesting trivia; WD-40 stands for 'Water Displacement, 40th attempt'. Thought you might like that.
Please click on the logo above to visit their corporate website.

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