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THE BLOGGY BIT...

This is where I ramble on about nothing in particular, in the hope that something may strike a chord with you, whether it be graphic design, football or real ale.

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Friday 30th April 2010 18:34

After a very busy day at work, we were finally ready to make our way up north to see my parents and spend a few days with them. For a change, we had decided to make the journey by train, the first leg taking us from Havant to London Waterloo. We were fortunate enough to catch the fast train, meaning fewer stops, although there was little comparison by the time we had arrived in London.

Once there, rather than waste any time, we made our way from Waterloo to Euston via the Underground. It was simple, especially as both stations are only stops apart on the Northern Line. Around 15 minutes later we were all prepared to make the third and final leg of our journey, taking us from London Euston to Wigan North West on a Virgin train. Due to a slight downside to the timings, it meant we had under an hour to kill. Other than buy a Chicken Balti Pastie from The Pasty Shop, we did little else, other than watch the world go by.
To find out more about The Pasty Shop, its locations and mouthwatering flavours of pasties, please click on the logo below.

the pasty shop

It was around 21:00 when we were able to board our train and we'd purposely booked seats in the 'Quiet Zone' for we didn't even consider sharing a carriage with a load of rowdy or noisy people (old bastards - Ed). Ten minutes later and we were on our way.
Other than the seats being too close together, the carriage being ridiculously warm and the fact that every seat in our carriage was travelling backwards, the journey was nice and smooth, stopping at only a handful of stops on the way; Rugby, just less than an hour from when we departed, Stafford, half an hour later, Crewe, some twenty minutes after, Warrington Bank Quay, fifteen minutes later, finally arriving at Wigan North West at around 23:30.

We were greeted at Wigan by my parents who then drove us back to what was going to be our home fro the next few days. We chatted for a good hour before tiredness got the better of us and went to bed.

Thursday 29th April 2010 11:35

Okay, so since I touched on the fact that I'd made a most remarkable discovery yesterday, I thought I'd finally show you the ten images that I put forward for my CPAGB that was judged at St. Martin's College in Lancaster on Sunday 24th October 1999.

I will feature my results in reverse order (Oooo… the suspense - Ed). I had to achieve a final mark of 200 or more in order to achieve the coveted title. Three judges were present, all giving each print a mark between 2 and 10 (they feel it only fair that the lowest possible mark overall be a 6).

Thought Waves - 15/30
Contemporary Opera - 16/30
Cloud Nine - 17/30
Chlorophyll - 17/30
Cubism - 22/30
Becalmed - 24/30
Speak With Two Voices - 24/30
The Land That Time Forgot - 26/30
Hitchcock Presents… - 27/30
Dreams - 27/30

So, I made it with 215 marks overall and collected my certificate and badge at a social awards ceremony that was held towards the end of the day. Thumbnails with pagelinks to follow.

Wednesday 28th April 2010 15:53

Two rather good things happened today, the first was a bit of a fluke, yet it's something I've been wanting to find out for a good year or more, maybe even two.
During February, I remembered about some prints that had gained some form of accomplishment, whether it be the fact that they'd been used in a portfolio or it was one of the ten prints that helped gain my CPAGB (Credit of The Photographic Alliance of Great Britain). Anyway, of the ten prints, one had escaped me, for I just couldn't remember which one it was, that was until this afternoon when, whilst putting all my funny clippings back, I stumbled upon a folder called 'Photography'... lo and behold, all the information I needed was in there. Within the next few days I intend to complete the section about me attaining my CPAGB, including the ten images that helped me do so.

migration assistant


The other good thing was that I'm one step closer to finally operating my new iMac. I've transferred all my applications over and they all appear to be running fine, for now. Tomorrow, I shall try and tackle to remainder of the operation. I can categorically say that this sort of thing doesn't bode well for sleep patterns and stress levels - I'll just be glad when it's all over.
As a matter of interest, I've been using Apple's 'Migration Assistant' via my wireless network (you also have the option of transferring your files via a Firewire cable).
For more information about the process, please click on the logo above.

Tuesday 27th April 2010 21:42

Following on from yesterday's funny, I dug out a couple of things from my funnies file that I've kept over the years. One of them, if memory serves me correctly, I picked up from a company in a resort called Farnworth. This particular company is famous for 'The Black Tie Tree' where, according to local folklore, a disgruntled and somewhat disillusioned designer, who was known as Darkness Dempsey, threw the said tie in the tree in a fit of rage and revenge.

wayne kerr

The actual flyer pictured above is a genuine one, regardless of the fact that the company doesn't exactly possess the most approachable name. Their head office (I'm impressed you avoided the obvious pun there - Ed) is based in Boston, yet Wayne Kerr began in 1946 in London, so maybe they moved over to the States to avoid the ridicule. The company is one of the leading manufacturers of electronic test equipment in the world, specialising in providing the high accuracy, quality and capabilities in component testing equipment.
So there you have it, please click on the image above to visit their website.

prastic stricks

Another place I worked at had a delivery prior to Euro 2006. It consisted of two packages, one with flat-packed England flags, the other contained the plastic flag poles that the buyer would attach to the top of their car window and then 'trap' against the body work. They were especially made in China, and as many of us are aware, the Chinese have particular difficulty in pronouncing certain letters of the English alphabet, one of which is the letter 'L'. I cannot ridicule them for this, after all, a huge percentage know a hell of a lot of English compared with what I know in Chinese... nevertheless, the label above is a classic...

Monday 26th April 2010 16:19

A couple of things cheered me up today. One was the fact that Apple have restored my faith in them... my new iMac is now up-and-running after making calls that accumulated up to two hours of conversation. A happy man again, I can tell you.
For the moment though, I'm just going to run the iMac as it is and then use Migration Support to transfer everything I need later in the week. I'd rather it settle in than have to go through all that angst again. Not good for a man of my age.

wank

So, I guess you're wondering what else cheered me up... well, it was an email from Tanya's boss, who just happens to be on a business trip in Germany at the moment. He took a photograph of his Sat Nat whilst he was travelling through the area of Bayern today, along the latitude of 47.61667 and the longitude of 10.51667, the DMS equivalents being latitude 47° 37' 0 N, longitude 10° 31' 0 E.
Google Earth it... one of the names above will appear on your screen!

Sunday 25th April 2010 15:27

Since my new iMac had been sat inside its packaging for longer than expected, it was finally time to release it out into the open. Even though it's newer, slimmer and larger, I still much prefer the white surround as opposed to the matt aluminium one. Having said that though, it's still as sexy as hell.
Within minutes of unleashing the beast, my old iMac made way for it. Easy to set up, easy to plug in... just one cord, the rest was all wireless. I followed the instructions on screen and it asked if I'd like to transfer my files via a Time Machine back-up. Bargain... how easy was this? Just a few clicks of a button and I was underway with an estimated 2 hours and 46 minutes to transfer... time to go and watch a film.

clash of the titans

Directed by Louis Leterrier and screenplay by Travis Beacham and Phil Hay, the remake of the 1981 box office hit, 'Clash of the Titans' stars Sam Worthington as Perseus, Liam Neeson as Zeus and Ralph Fiennes as Hades. The plot basically involves the mortal son of the God Zeus undertakes a treacherous journey in order to stop the underworld and its sycophants from extending their evil to Earth as well as the Heavens. The CGI is excellent, as it is with the majority of blockbuster films these days.
Anyway, without harping on about it too much, please click on the movie poster to find out more.

Back to the iMac... God only knows what happened but it's fucked up and I'm fucked off... a call to Apple is on the cards tomorrow...

What a bollocks weekend.

Saturday 24th April 2010 19:05

Whilst at the Apple Store yesterday, I enquired into buying a new iMac, particularly as there was every chance of mine not being cost-effective to repair. Anyway, having slept on it and then being granted permission to buy, I three-quarter heartedly decided that buying a new one would be beneficial in many ways... so that was it, we were heading back to Southampton.

Earlier in the day, I'd worked on several urgent jobs whilst Tanya was at a meeting to do with Camera Club and I also managed to watch the majority of the Premiership clash between Bolton Wanderers and Portsmouth, played at the Reebok.
Despite Pompey knowing they were a relegated side, the still played with as much passion as they have done all season. Even when Bolton went into the break at 2-0 up, Pompey were far from disheartened. The game actually ended 2-2, with Bolton's first half goals being scored by Ivan Klasnic and Kevin Davies, whilst Pompey's goals were both scored by Aruna Dindane. A fair result in the end and a valuable point towards safety for The Trotters.

wirless keyboard - magic mouse

So anyway, we ended up driving back from Southampton with a new toy... the 21.5 inch iMac came with 3.06GHz Intel Core 2 Duo, 1920 x 1080 resolution, 4GB of memory, a 500GB hard drive, 8x double-layer SuperDrive and NVIDIA GeForce 9400M graphics. It also has the latest OS X, Snow Leopard, installed and has a super-cool wireless keyboard and the amazing Apple Magic Mouse.
For more information please click on the image above.

Friday 23rd April 2010 15:20

Fuck St. George and his bastard dragon, I had to get my iMac fixed... 48 hours was plenty enough time to be without my trusty companion. My appointment at the West Quay Apple Store in Southampton was for twenty past three, and although we ended up being around ten minutes late, they were more than happy to see us.

genius bar

One of the Genius Team, Ross, did the three standard checks I had before suggesting that it was definitely an electrical fault. I already knew that, then again, I could have easily been doing something wrong. As suspected, it had to be one of two faults, either the power supply or the logic board, the former being around £130, easier to swallow than the estimated £450+ if it had been the latter. Ross said that it was 50/50 as to what it might be and he'd ask the team of experts to determine what the problem was. The squeaky bum moment was then followed by us both saying that we'd be prepared to go ahead with the power supply repair but it just wasn't worth replacing a logic board - it would be far simpler to just buy a new iMac. Ross then suggested that we entertained ourselves for a couple of hours rather than drive all the way back home only to have to drive back again. In the meantime, they would do the relevant checks and repair, if necessary.
If you're encountering any problems with your Mac, not that you're likely to, click on the logo above to book an appointment with someone who knows exactly what they're doing and will provide you with an incredibly efficient service.

So, off we went to entertain ourselves in Southampton city centre. Other than West Quay shopping centre and a strange castle-like building in the middle of the road called Bargate, I couldn't really see anything photogenic, although I shall remain impartial about the city, unlike many other people from the Portsmouth area.
To find out more about West Quay shopping centre, please click on the logo below.

west quay southampton

During the two hours we had to kill, Tanya suggested that we ate out, saving time for when we went home. The food terrace within the centre is some size, housing the following eateries... Café Giardino, Castle Galleries, Costa, Druckers, Fat Jackets, Harry Ramsden’s, KFC, McDonald’s, Morris Pasties, Nando’s, Pizza Hut, Quiznos and sblended.

Having categorically stated that she didn't want fish and chips, we looked at every place to eat, the most appealing being Morris Pasties, that was until we noticed that virtually everything on the menu had a substantial cost added if you wanted to 'eat in', as in 'on the terrace'. Most prices had a further 65p added on to them, so if you wanted to have something to eat and drink, that would be an extra £1.30 for the privilege of eating it 'in'. We asked whether they would waiver the charge only to be met with a firm no and that it covered VAT. In my opinion, it covered being mugged and sodomised, fuck all to do with VAT. Cheeky robbing pastie-making bastards.

harry ramsden's

We categorically didn't end up eating at Harry Ramsden's, ordering two 'Harry's Specials', comprising of a fairly large portion of chips and battered fish, along with a choice of drink. At £3.99 each, it was more than reasonable, with Tanya categorically not saying that they were the best fish and chips she'd had in a long time.
Some fishy facts for you... one of Harry Ramsden's nephews was none other than Harry Corbett of Sooty and Sweep fame. He occasionally played the piano in his uncle's Guiseley branch. In 1952, another one of Harry's nephews sent a letter to: Harry Ramsden, The Uncrowned Fish and Chip Shop King, England. It proved the extent of Harry's fame, arriving just two days later.
Please click on the logo above to find out more about the king of fish and chips.

After stuffing our faces, we headed back to the Apple Store to see how things were progressing. Rob, a expert who we'd had a long chat with about the possibilities of buying a new iMac and what they had to offer, spotted us. He then went to check on the status of my iMac... minutes later, he came out carrying the box I'd brought it in and looking somewhat despondent... we feared the worse. He opened with, "I'm afraid it's not the logic board'. That fuck for that! Not only was it good news, they'd discounted the price by £30, which actually meant it was under £100 in total.
I was a very happy man indeed.

Thursday 22nd April 2010 05:45

Having taken a well earned break from work last night to watch Monty Halls, I thought I'd be early to rise this morning, only to find that my iMac would not work.
I thought about what may be wrong, I checked my power lead, checked it again, unplugging both ends and plugging back in. I then used different plug sockets, knowing full well that they worked having tested them with other electrical appliances. I then tried using a couple of different power leads... nothing, nothing at all. No powerful start-up chime - it was just like pressing nothing.

dead apple

Other things started to run through my mind, namely 'cock, wank, bollock, tit, shit, piss and fuck'. Surprisingly, none of those were of any help. One of my best friends had died and I hadn't a clue why. There were no warning signs, no loss of memory or it pissing itself at random. I was totally and utterly gutted. I'd have to wait until the afternoon before I could sort anything out.

As soon as I was home, I 'phoned Apple Centre Southampton immediately and they booked me in for an appointment tomorrow but couldn't assess what was wrong without me taking it over there.
As a last resort, I also gave Pissy World a call and a more-than-helpful gentleman talked me through some of the possibilities of getting it up-and-running, one of which was clearing the build-up of static that can be present within. The trick is to unplug the whole computer, keep the on/off switch pressed down for twenty seconds and then plug everything back in, this process usually dissipates the problem, not in my case.

Image above © Rajala from Deviant Art.

Wednesday 21st April 2010 21:00

The latest adventure by Monty Halls started on BBC2 tonight, 'Monty Halls' Great Hebridean Escape'. His last offering took him to the Applecross Peninsula where he learned how to be a crofter, this time he'll be spending six months working as a volunteer nature warden, along with his trusty and somewhat mad black labrador, Reuben (or Rubes as he is affectionately known).
Unfortunately, the job is unpaid because the islanders do not have the funding, so Jim, a lifelong resident of the islands and redundant nature warden, has kindly given up his time to show Monty around as well as show him some of the ancient traditions that the islanders still use to this day.

monty halls

In tonight's episode, he's shown how to build a pigpen, how and where to catch migrating salmon, involved in a tug-of-war contest at the annual highland games and digs up some peat that is then dried out and used on a wood-burning stove (there are very few trees on the island). Call me an old romantic - please do - but the scenery and sense of adventure is just out of this world. When Monty describes it as Heaven, I have to say, I'm in agreement... a very relaxing watch.
To either watch or download the first of the series, please click on the opening graphic above.

Tuesday 20th April 2010 21:13

Tanya had very kindly taken my competition entries up to Camera Club last week, whilst I watched the Chelsea v Bolton game... tonight it was the fourth and final league competition, judged by Trevor Gellard FRPS, who lives in Hove.

traffic jam pair

Since I knew that there was absolutely no chance of winning the league, I'd taken what I considered as a huge risk with my two entries, especially as some of this season's judges just didn't 'get' my humour and made no real attempt to either. Luckily for me though, Trevor was the total opposite and awarded me an impressive 9/10 for my 'Traffic Jam' shot and a head-spinning 10/10 for my 'Pair' shot, my first full marks within the print section this season.
I was absolutely delighted. Please click on either image above to take you to the main page of that image.

Monday 19th April 2010 10:52

More about the delay with my blog later in the week...
I was very busy indeed today. I was asked to submit a second batch of designs to a company that are starting a chain of coffee shops, bars, ristorantes and pizzerias. I usually submit three designs whenever I'm asked to create a logo, it's usually enough for a client to digest and then pass on their comments. Unfortunately, my first batch were totally unsuccessful but that never disheartens me, particularly as it then allows you to take heed of the comments from your client, as well as choose a totally different route with regards to colours, fonts and design style.

l'azzurro

The chain, 'l'Azzurro' (meaning 'blue' in Italian) will be a predominantly Italian-themed chain and their blue clothing with hints of green, white and red piping throughout their range will reflect this. Despite the fact that my other designs encompassed their brief, my favourite design from the ones I submitted happened to be a gold-coloured one, looking both contemporary and classy whilst utilising the 'U' as a simple graphic of a cup.
As a matter of interest, the font used is Italian Old Style Bold.

Sunday 18th April 2010 10:21

Since neither of us died after our exerted walk yesterday, we chose to go on another one this morning. Up until now, the last few weeks have been out of bounds for lengthy walks whilst Tanya recovered from her operation.

Today's walk took us slightly west of where we were yesterday, joining the same route for part of it. The Billy Track that runs from Havant through to Hayling Island seems to have become a firm favourite for a Sunday morning walk. We join it at Havant Museum and branch off it before it joins the main road, cutting through a field that brings you out near the Royal Oak pub. From there, we took our route slightly further, skipping the Wade Court footpath and continuing around the shoreline to the path that takes you up to Warblington Church. We then followed Church Lane all the way to Pook Lane, walked down there and back on to the shore, heading for the Wade Court footpath, finally joining the Billy Track once more.

The rest of the afternoon involved me washing both mine and Tanya's car, finishing mine off by cleaning my windows, both inside and out and if that wasn't enough, I also waxed it. Inside the said vehicle is still a shithole but by the time I'd finished all of that, I was cream crackered.

CMW-01 CMW-07

That evening, I started putting the finishing touches to a relatively strange featured gallery, 'Colgate Max White'... yet it's a toothbrush. I have created a gallery of fifteen macro shots of three of the colours that the toothbrush is available in. Two of my favourites shots are shown above so I'll keep you posted as to when the whole gallery goes live.

Saturday 17th April 2010 09:05

The most recent spell of good weather had very kindly continued into the weekend so we started the day with a lovely walk taking us from Warblington, along the coastal path, through Nore Barn Woods and on to Emsworth. It was a beautiful morning, although there was a slight chill in the air, yet that didn't deter our enjoyment of it.
Once we arrived in Emsworth, we headed for the Greenhouse Café and devoured a cream tea before continuing our walk up to Lumley Mill, a beautiful walk on the Sussex Border Path. From there, we then walked back down into Emsworth taking a route through Brook Meadow Nature Reserve.

the sussex border path

The Sussex Border Path is a footpath route that covers almost 150 miles around the inland boundary of Sussex, first devised and published in 1983 by Ben Perkins and Aeneas Mackintosh. The boundaries of the path can owe its origins to the kingdom of the South Saxons, meaning that the county now has one of the longest inland county boundaries from Emsworth to Rye which is an incredible distance.
To find out more about the long distance path (or bite size chunks if need be), please click on the logo above.

Having been out walking for a good two and half hours, we both felt invigorated from it, yet the amount of sunshine we'd both soaked up also left us feeling a little tired (make your bloody minds up - Ed). We both felt it would seem a shame to just fester for the rest of the day, particularly as we'd made the most of it so far, so Tanya suggested we went to Chichester, Bhs to be precise, as she'd seen some towels that Abbi had said how much she liked.
Surprisingly, I was reluctant to go, purely because shopping can be about as interesting and enjoyable as something that clearly isn't. Tanya, knowing me so well, mentioned that Sainsbury's was on the same complex and I could get some beer whilst there. Sold to the bald-headed beer-guzzling geezer.

bhs

Bhs (formerly British Home Stores) is a British department store founded in 1928 and is currently owned by Sir Philip Green. Its first store open in Brixham, London and the company now has 186 stores throughout the United Kingdom and, if memory serves me correctly, I think a store exists on the island of Gibraltar as well. It primarily sells clothing and household items such as bedlinen, cutlery, crockery and lighting and competes on quality and value, unlike its demographs, Marks and Spencer and John Lewis.
Please click on the logo above to either buy online or locate your nearest store.

Friday 16th April 2010 20:46

In September 2005, I added a website statistic tool to this domain name. Founded by Aodhan Cullen in 1999, StatCounter is one of the most popular free website statistic packages in the world. The Dublin-based headquarters report over 10 billion pageloads every month and the stats they provide allow online businesses (and individuals) a chance to grow and improve by monitoring the number of hits to their website. Other key features from the package show the geographical location of visitors, the various pages they view as well as the keywords they used the find the site plus other stats.

statcounter

In less than five years, I've logged visitors from 21 different countries in Africa, 30 in the Americas (both North and South), 37 in Asia, 51 in Europe and a mere 4 in Oceania. That's an incredible 143 different nations who have had visitors to my website.
To register your domain name and add the relevant code to your site's HTML, please click on the logo above.

Thursday 15th April 2010 17:12

Since discovering eHow yesterday and then searching around the site, it lead me to another great find, an open source 3D graphics application program called 'Blender'. It's released as free software under the GNU General Public License and can be used for modelling, UV unwrapping, texturing, rigging, water simulations, skinning, animating, rendering, particle and other simulations, non-linear editing, compositing, and creating interactive 3D applications, including games.

blender

Even better than it being free, it's also available for virtually every operating system, including Mac OS X, Microsoft Windows and Linux. It was originally developed as an in-house application by the Dutch animation studio NeoGeo and Not a Number Technologies (NaN). Its main author, Ton Roosendaal, has previously written a ray tracer called Traces for Amiga back in 1989 and then founded NaN in June 1998 to further develop and distribute Blender, whose name incidentally comes from the song of the same title from Yello's album, 'Baby'.
To download your free version, please click on the logo above.

Wednesday 14th April 2010 21:53

Founded in March 1999, eHow is an online guide with over 1 million articles and 170,000 videos offering step-by-step instructions of how-tos. The content of the website is created and complied by both professional experts and amateur members that cover a huge range of subject matters. It's not an everyday social networking platform, yet eHow members are able to network and collaborate by building their own personalised profiles, friend lists and are also able to comment on articles or interact on an online forum.

eHow

So why am I talking about it? Well, having struggled for years, yes a good four years, I had finally had enough of trying to reduce the file sizes of PDFs. Sometimes it was a case of making minor amendments to existing ones or having to create downloadable brochures, yet keeping the file size to an acceptable size always proved an endless task... until now.
I think I typed something like, 'smaller PDF file size' into Google and an eHow link appeared at the top of the page, so I clicked on it and found the answer to one of the biggest artwork problems I've suffered with. Sounds crazy, I know, but I honestly felt like I'd exhausted all possibilities of making them smaller.
Please click on the logo above and find one of the best answers to an artwork problem, ever...

Tuesday 13th April 2010 20:00

Since I seem to have talked about nothing but football over the weekend, all I can say is that I did watch Bolton take on Chelsea at Stamford Bridge on ESPN tonight and yes, we lost 1-0 and should have had a penalty.

So... now that that's over, I can say one thing, Fiat. Why Fiat? Well, they're hardly renown for manufacturing stylish cars, in fact, let's face it, most of them have been on a consistent level of shitness, none more so than the Panda. Not only were the Pandas of the 80s utterly shit but who wants to drive a car named after a lazy, black and white bear that eats bamboo and sleeps half its life?

fiat

Anyway, since then, Fiat actually manufacture some half-decent looking cars and one car that I just love, the Fiat 500, possibly the coolest car around... even the Top Gear team like it, or it appears as if they do. The Panda still looks pretty crap, yet the Punto and Bravo look quite stylish, although the names of the two cars sounds crap.

Founded by Giovanni Agnelli, Fiat was founded on the 11 July 1899 in the Italian city of Turin. The name is actually an acronym of Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino, the English translation literally meaning Italian Automobile Factory of Turin... clever stuff, eh?
Having slated the majority of models that Fiat have manufactured, there's something about their earlier models such as the 124, 127, 128, 200 and the old 500 whose retro look is very cool, which is one of the reasons why the new 500 looks super-cool now.

As well as setting a precedence for themselves with the 500, they've also updated what was once a very passé logo, and the icing on the cake has to be their choice of music on their latest advert... 'A Peak in Time' by Cut Chemist... yes, it's hip-hop and, despite being over 40 years old, I love it. Yes, I admitted to liking a hip-hop song, what the hell is wrong with me? (Easier to say what isn't - Ed)
To view the advert and see the super-cool car in action, please click on the Fiat logo above.

Monday 12th April 2010 22:34

After the match yesterday, I managed to work on an image that I thought of during the week. Every now and again, someone may coin a phrase or I may read something and twist it round into a play on words. The images below are what I used to create my 'Eye Opener', and although I wanted to make the eye appear as if it was being opened, with the lid of the tin showing the underside of the eyelid, I decided that it would be more than difficult to achieve; just taking a photograph of my own eye with a macro lens had its complications.

bloodshot

tin opener

I'm open to any suggestions you may have for future play on words shots... always love a challenge... to see the outcome of this particular one, please click on the thumbnail below.

eye opener

Sunday 11th April 2010 16:00

If a Pompey fan could ask for a weekend filled with every emotion under the Sun, this was that very weekend... from despair to sheer delight.
Having been on the receiving end of seeing my football team plummet from the Premiership down into what feels like the doldrums of the Championship on more than one occasion, I felt totally devastated knowing that Pompey would be spending next year in the division below. West Ham United managed an unconvincing win over Sunderland yesterday which took away any glimmer of hope that Pompey had. If the Premiership placings were governed by their fan's support, commitment, spirit and passion, Pompey would be in the top four, easily. I stand by what I said a couple of weeks ago about the Premiership powers that be, and that is they're a fucking disgrace and football is about what happens on the field, not off it.

football league championship

Luckily, there are a handful of teams in the past that have managed to avoid too long a stay in the Championship such as Bolton, Middlesbrough, and recently promoted Newcastle United and West Brom, both having only spent a season away from the top. Let's hope that Pompey end up being one of those fortunate teams, I am absolutely certain they will.
For more information about The Football League's Championship, please click on the logo above.

So, as an FA Cup semi-finalist side, Pompey knew that they could channel all their concentration into unpredictably overcoming a slightly inconsistent Tottenham Hotspur side. Not only was the feeling of defeat not going to perturb the fighting Blue Army but there was a certain amount of scar tissue to iron out. Last time Pompey made the FA Cup Final, the now Spurs manager, Harry Redknapp was at the helm. Since making his move to Spurs, he took Jermaine Defoe, Peter Crouch and Niko Kranjcar with him; possibly three of the best players on Pompey's books at the time.

tottenham hotspur v portsmouth

After two scintillating halves of football, with both clubs coming close to booking their place in the final, it went to extra time, something that the bookies hadn't catered for; it was meant to be an absolute breeze for Spurs. Remarkably, nine minutes into the first half of extra time, a Marc Wilson free-kick was met by the head of Kevin-Prince Boateng and would have been cleared, had Michael Dawson not lost his footing. As he fell, Frédéric Piquionne latched on to it, blasting the ball past a helpless Heurelho Gomes. Game on!

Soon after, Peter Crouch managed to equalise, yet referee Alan Wiley wrongfully spotted an infringement by Kranjcar on Pompey 'keeper David James. James knew full well how lucky his team had been, it should have been 1-1, yet Pompey deserved some luck to come their way.
Sure enough, three minutes from the end, Pompey were awarded a penalty after Wilson Palacios brought down Aruna Dindane, making way for ex-Tottenham player, Boateng, to convert the penalty and make it 0-2 to Pompey at the final whistle. The 15th May is now all set for a Chelsea v Pompey final and today's match has to go down as one of the all-time greats.
As per yesterday's graphic, please click on the above to visit the FA Cup website.

Saturday 10th April 2010 16:10

Had a very busy day today, for Abbi had the two children she often looks after and asked Tanya and I if we fancied going to the Manor Farm Country Park with her. We agreed, particularly as it was such a glorious day and we arrived there in about half an hour.
We first visited the park back in July 2008 and had threatened to visit it ever since. It's a superb place to take children, young or old, just because they can see a working farm in action and familiarise themselves with a good deal of farmyard animals such as cows, sheep, hens, turkeys, pigs and horses, plus a few others as well. We ended up spending a good three hours though until we set off home, ready for this year's Grand National.

john smiths grand national

We'd had a sweepstake at work and I'd picked three horses; Eric's Charm, Character Building and Big Fella Thanks. Previous to me moving down here, I'd always had a little flutter on the National and had the occasional success, yet I find sweepstakes much more innocent and far less damaging.
So, after 'Eric's Charm' falling at the first, I didn't hold out much hope for my other horses, yet they both completed the race, 'Big Fella Thanks' finishing fourth, so I may well be winning a small amount of money, come Monday. Only fourteen of the forty runners finished, the winner being 'Don't Push It', 10-1 joint favourite, ridden by AP McCoy who won in brilliant style.
To find out more about the world's most famous steeplechase, please click on the logo of the event sponsors above.

Shortly after the race, we then watched the first of two FA Cup semi-final ties, both of which were being played at Wembley Stadium. This evening's match was Aston Villa versus Chelsea, the second tie is being played tomorrow between Tottenham Hotspur and Portsmouth.
So, despite Chelsea's recent 7-1 clobbering of Aston Villa, the underdogs started the game with for more conviction, yet the greasiness of the pitch meant that the majority of players were finding it very difficult staying on their feet.
James Milner almost put Villa in front in the 14th minute with a 25-yard shot that skimmed past Petr Cech's right-hand post. Overall, Villa had the better half and had a penalty appeal dismissed, yet it looked quite clear that Gabriel Agbonlahor was hacked down by John Obi Mikel, yet referee Howard Webb rejected all claims.

aston villa v chelsea

It wasn't until well into the second half that the deadlock was broken with Didier Drogba's 32nd goal of the season, a simple six-yard tap in after John Terry had completely mis-hit his shot. From that point, Villa seemed totally dejected and started to play with far less spirit and passion. Sure enough, Chelsea added a second goal to the scoresheet in the 89th minute with Florent Malouda sweeping the ball in the net from a superb cross by substitute Michael Ballack. Just one minute later, Frank Lampard wrapped things up for good, and a place in the FA Cup Final, with a close range shot, completing the scoreline of Aston Villa 0-3 Chelsea.
For more information about the FA Cup, please click on the graphic above.

Friday 9th April 2010 21:00

It appears as if we may be making the most of our new television... not really the case, it's just that there are certain programmes we watch each week, one of them being 'Embarrassing Bodies', shown on Channel 4. For those of you who haven't seen it, it covers all kinds of health problems and some of the diseases, disfigurements and general health complaints can be appallingly bad, to the point where you feel physically sick watching it. That's the thing you see, curiosity gets the better of you.

embarrassing bodies

The show, 'Embarrassing Bodies', reached episode 10 of the third series tonight with a special 'Back to the Clinic 2'. The show features five doctors, all of which are specialists with regards to specific health problems.
Firstly, there's Dr Christian Jessen who has an interest if tropical medicine, HIV and other sexually transmitted infections as well as dermatology. He's currently a GP in two London-based private clinics as well as being a medical advisor and columnist for several well-known magazines.
The there's Doctor Pixie McKenna, also experienced within sexually transmitted diseases and dermatology as well as offering nutritional and health advice to fussy eaters. She also spends a great deal of time raising money and awareness for Touching Tiny Lives, a charity that aim to reduce life-threatening pregnancy complications.
And also Doctor James Russell who is a cosmetic dentist and one of the best in the business. He is a director of the British Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry and regularly contributes to magazines, television and radio.
Doctor Priya Manickavasagar brings her expertise in A&E to the team. She trained at the renowned Charles University in Prague and has also worked in hospitals across the United Kingdom, currently based at Ealing Hospital in West London.
Finally, there's Doctor Dawn Harper who spends half her working week in a general practice where she specialises in women's health, family health and preventative medicine. The other half is spent researching, writing newspaper columns and broadcasting about various aspects of medicine.

Some of the problems that patients are suffering with have to be the most atrocious you're likely to see, particularly one who had Hidradenitis Suppurativa, a skin infection in his armpit. The condition is caused by blocked sweat glands and the outcome was that he went on a temporary treatment of strong steroids. Although they improved things, he eventually went to see a plastic surgeon who took skin grafts from his thigh that then replaced the infected areas. A disgusting, yet disturbingly riveting watch.
To view the latest episode, you know you want to, please click on the title graphic above.

Thursday 8th April 2010 21:00

Last Thursday, the 39th series of 'Have I Got News For You' started. Tonight's show was hosted by Alexander Armstrong (funny chap) along with the usual team captains, Ian Hislop and Paul Merton. Tonight's guest panellists were Richard Herring and Victoria Coren. Richard Herring was sporting a somewhat unsightly toothbrush moustache and it wasn't long before it was commented on. He then went on to say, "I'm trying the claim the toothbrush moustache for comedy, Charlie Chaplin had it first and then Hitler came along and kind of ruined it for everyone... probably the worst thing he ever did." Classic.

Anyway, it was a debut appearance for panellist Victoria Coren. Born on the 18th August 1973, she is the daughter of late humourist and journalist Alan Coren and the sister of journalist Giles Coren. Now then, she's not one of the 'famous because someone else in the family is', for one, she's a graduate of St. John's College, Oxford. At the age of 14, she won a Daily Telegraph competition to write a column about teenage life for their 'Weekend' section and continued writing for several years. Now 36, she writes weekly columns for both The Observer and The Guardian, as well as regular articles for other publications.

victoria coren

As well as being a columnist, she's also published several books, her first being 'Love 16' followed by 'Once More, With Feeling', written with co-author Charlie Skelton. The book is all about her attempt to make the best hard-core pornographic movie ever (she's incredibly attractive so I'm sure she'd have absolutely no problem whatsoever). The inspiration for the book was on the back of them both having jobs reviewing porn films for the Erotic Review.
In 2008, Victoria and her brother Giles wrote an introduction to 'Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks' an anthology of the best comic writing by their late father, Alan Coren.

Her latest book, 'For Richer, For Poorer: A Love Affair With Poker' was published in September 2009 and is a poker memoir/autobiography, a frank and colourful memoir of life in the poker underworld. Why poker, you ask? (She is worth one - Ed). Well, she was the first woman to win an event of the European Poker Tour, as well as being the first player to win both a televised professional torunament (EPT London 2006) and a televised celebrity tournament (Celebrity Poker Club 2005). She has also commentated on or presented poker shows for Channel 4, ITV2, Channel 5 and Sky Sports. Quite talented really.
Her website can be accessed by clicking on the logo above.

Wednesday 7th April 2010 15:53

A catastrophic event of prodigious proportion occurred last night... Tanya wanted to watch EastEnders and the television suddenly stopped working. I did consider whether it was boycotting soaps in general but it didn't even have the energy to beam football into the place, so that concluded its rather short and uneventful life.

comet

In some respects, bearing in mind that the television had lived for a mere four years, we were glad to see the back, and believe me, it had a huge back, of our Hitachi electronic boulder. It's an expense we can really do without but it's either that or having to brush up on the art of making conversation again. A split-second decision ensued with a trip to Comet for they had several deals on their website, plus it meant we could go and make sure that we were buying exactly what we wanted with the best deal possible, with the peanuts we had available.
Take a look at Comet's website by clicking on their logo above.

panasonic

So, without little browsing, we both settled on a 37" Panasonic VIERA LCD television, especially as it came with nine months interest free credit, otherwise it would have been endless evenings in the Piano Parlour for us.
Once home, it took about a fortnight to work out how all the gubbins went together, particularly as we'd finally decided to take our video out of the equation. We also ended up buying a High Speed HDMI Cable, although we'll now need a HD Set Top Box because ours is that old, it doesn't cater for such advanced technology.
The great thing about the new television is that it's flat screen and since removing the old one out of our lounge, we now have room for a full-size snooker table and another three-seater settee. Incredible. It's bizarre how the 27" Hitachi, despite the fact that the screen was 10" less, was still the size of a herd of elephants.
For more information about Panasonic, please click on the logo above.

Tuesday 6th April 2010 18:12

Back in Caveman times, I'm almost certain that the men and women wearing loincloths thought very little about deodorant sprays; there were probably many other smells such as soiled arses and the like that probably suppressed any hint of bodily odour. Even in more recent history, the Victorians were hardly the front runners in washing their wotsits.
In fact, apart from Brut and Old Spice in the early 80s, men didn't think it necessary to make themselves smell acceptable and were quite happy that their natural pheromones would suffice when it came down to a bit of slap and tickle.

How things have changed. Nowadays, a large percentage of the younger generation of men would be more than happy to sit down and talk about moisturisers and other predominantly female products. Personally, I find that a little too feminine for my liking, a good shower gel, deodorant and aftershave is about as far as I go... and despite being as good as bald, I also feel that although I have no hair to wash, it's as well to keep my scalp and my hair follicle (notice I mention only one) in pristine condition.
So, during Christmas and beyond, I mentioned my two favourite aftershaves, Fahrenheit by Dior and DKNY. In the past I've also mentioned some of Imperial Leather's excellent shower gels, so now it's time to mention deodorant and shampoo.

lynx

As far as I can remember, I've used Lynx deodorant for at least twenty years, maybe more. I'm sad enough to remember some of my favourite fragrances, some of which probably don't exist anymore, Atlantis being one of my favourites. Here's a blast from the past though, remember these other ones... Java, Marine, Musk, Oriental, Alaska (another good one), Mirage, Tempest, Nevada, Inca, Apollo, Amber and Spice?
With regards to their current range, Africa, Phoenix and Vice are all good but my favourite has to be Temptation. It contains chocolate notes to help tempt the ladies and tug at their senses... wouldn't mind Keeley Hazell, the face of the sexy Lynx adverts and promotions to tug at my senses (steady on! - Ed)
For more information about Lynx and their range of products, please click on the logo above (there are some great bits and bobs about Keeley too!)

original source

Shampoo. Yes, I think it's important I mention it. I use 'Original Source', Mint and Tea Tree Shampoo. Why? Well, for one, it's 'ballistics on your bonce'. That's how one expert described it. I totally agree, for it wakes your whole head up with the concentrate of mintiness almost assaulting your head. It's refreshing and almost slaps you around the head, revitalising your brain in the process.
If that wasn't enough, the Original Source logo is simple, effective and really cool (the font is Gothic 821 Condensed, with the centres of the 'O's' rotated slightly) and the Flash-based website is fantastic. Don't do what I did though and start twatting the screen trying to kill little bugs that appeared as though they'd suddenly landed there... it's part of the animation. Oh, and there's a game on there too, if you need to pass some time away.
Please click on the logo above to find out more.

Monday 5th April 2010 23:38

During the day, I managed to catch up with my website galleries with the inclusion of a new one, 'Urban Doorstep'. Having taken a few shots earlier in the month whilst on our quest to be inspired with Havant Camera Club's 'Summer Exhibition', I realised that a great subject would be to concentrate on Havant Borough's grittiness. The borough as a whole has some very nice areas indeed... Emsworth, Langstone, Rowland's Castle and Hayling Island to name a few, yet I wanted to avoid the obvious. Although I hope to compile an interesting panel of shots, I suspect that this may well become an ongoing project, especially as it's right on my doorstep.
Please click on the 'splash' graphic below to see my fifteen selected images so far.

urban doorstep

Later that evening, we watched 'Alice in Wonderland', Disney's reworking of Lewis Carrol's epic novel of the same name. The screenplay for the latest adaptation was by Linda Woolverton with the director being Tim Burton, someone I talked about early last month.

alice in wonderland

I have read mixed reviews, mainly stating that Burton himself should have taken care of the screenplay and made it a much darker film. I wouldn't say it's brilliant, nor would I say it was disappointing, more an entertaining film with some excellent CGI and a few outstanding voice performances, particularly from Stephen Fry (Cheshire Cat) and Alan Rickman (Blue Caterpillar). Why they had to cast Barbara Windsor in there, I do not know, I just find her irritating as fuck.
There have been criticisms of Johnny Depp's role as the Mad Hatter, yet I thought his English accent was convincing and his attire was outlandish enough... and I'm glad Anne Hathaway played the White Queen... white can always be made dirty.
Anyway, rather than me drift away with Hathaway, please click on the promotional poster above to find out more about the movie.

Sunday 4th April 2010 17:18

There have been a selection of ales from two breweries recently that I really want to talk about today... saves talking about lambs, fluffy chicks and Easter eggs.

skinner's brewery

The first is Skinner's Brewery, based in Cornwall and was founded by Steve and Sarah Skinner back in 1997. The brewery produces a range of ales, all named after characters from Cornish folklore, the best known being the multi award-winning 'Cornish Knocker' and 'Betty Stogs bitter', both of which are exceptional ales. Out of the other nine available ales, I've had a bottle of 'Heligan Honey'; there are full details of their beers on their website.

'Cornish Knocker' is 4.5% ABV and is a clean tasting golden ale, flowery and fruity with a malty bittersweet finish. Cornish Knockers are also known as Tin Mine Fairies and used to guide the miners to the abundant areas of tin by knocking. Apparently, miners used to throw their left over crusts from their Cornish Pasties to stay on the right side of the Knockers.

'Betty Stogs Bitter' is named after Betty Stogs who was a native of West Cornwall and was bedraggled, idle, couldn't knit or cook yet liked her ale (sounds like me). Her child was taken by the 'small people', washed in the morning dew and returned to her. From that day forward, she became a reformed character... ish. Anyway, this classic amber ale has distinct hoppy overtones and is an excellent quaffing ale, particularly as it's just 4% ABV.
To find out more about Skinner's Brewery, please click on the logo above.

hobsons brewery

And the second is Hobson's Brewery, based in Shropshire. Although I'm unable to determine exactly when the brewery first started produced ale, it appears as if it was around ten years ago, considering they were winning awards in 2001 for their Best Bitter.
I have been fortunate enough to buy four of their five bottled ales and so far, I've drank three of them. Once again, Hobsons are a brewery that like to name their beers after local history, whether they be an event or a person. In strength order, I'll talk about my favourite two so far, the other being a 4.2% ABV bitter amber ale that's called 'Manor Ale'.

So, the first is 'Postman's Knock', a rich ruby porter which is unbelievably moreish. It's 4.8% ABV, yet the richness of it is deceiving, giving a complex blend of ingredients that suggests a far stronger percentage.
The ale takes its name after novelist Simon Evans, who, after returning from World War I, settled in Cleobury Mortimer, the home of Hobsons. He was suffering from the effects of poisonous gas so decided to become a postman. His 18-mile round gave him chance to recuperate as well as the inspiration to write his witty short stories.

'Old Henry' is the other ale I've chosen to talk about, mainly because it's actually named after master brewer, Henry Hobson. Old Henry loved his hat and although it provided a sign of a hard-working tradesman, it was originally designed to protect gamekeepers from a blow to the head from irate poachers.
The ale itself is chestnut in appearance and is both spicy and fruity in aroma. At 5.2% ABV, the rich tasting auburn ale has a roasted flavour with a bittersweet undertone.

Saturday 3rd April 2010 18:20

Birds and a Timelord...
Yes, the long-awaited new series of the BBC's 'Doctor Who' started tonight. Not only was it a new series, it was a new Doctor, none other than the somewhat strange looking Matt Smith. They've even updated the theme music slightly... I do prefer the last one, although I'm sure it will grow on me.
Tonight's opening episode, 'The Eleventh Hour' gave us chance to be introduced to the new cast and having watched the whole of it, I can confirm that Matt Smith is going to be an exceedingly great Doctor, he possesses much of Tennant's humour (not that we should ever compare) and looks slightly odd, which is good.
From the excerpts of other episodes, it certainly appears that the BBC have gone all out in the special effects department, some of which was on show tonight as a morphing monster called Prisoner Zero was reeking havoc. As a snake-like mass of glowing tendrils and a mouth full of sharp teeth, the interdimensional multi-form species create a psychic link to a living yet dormant creature, coma patients being their perfect live feed. So, that's the Timelord covered...

doctor who

Birds next, well to be precise, a bird. That particular bird is the Doctor's new assistant, Amy Pond. He first meets her as a child and promises to be 'five minutes', whilst he tries to rectify a few problems with his Tardis.
Some twelve years later, having had no idea about how long he's been, he returns, only to find that the house is now occupied by a policewoman. Anyway, that policewoman is actually a kissogram who is now a much older Amy Pond and unbelievably attractive with it.
Amy Pond is played by Scottish actress, Karen Gillan who actually appeared in a previous episode of Doctor Who, playing the Soothsayer in the Tenth Doctor adventure, 'The Fires of Pompeii'. Having grown up in Inverness, the 21-year old had actually decided that she wanted to pursue her acting career... so glad she did, she's gorgeous.
To watch the latest episode, please click on the image above.

Friday 2nd April 2010 14:32

We've watched two films this week, one excellent one, one not so clever one.
The first, 'The Boat That Rocked' was written by Richard Curtis and stars Bill Nighy, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Rhys Ifans, Nick Frost and Kenneth Branagh.

Inspired by true events, the storyline is based around pirate radio which was incredibly popular in the 1960s. It's basically an illegal or unregulated radio transmission and the film follows the day-to-day life of the eight DJs that broadcast from their anchored boat. None of them have any morals, all drug-taking, drinking and having their way with a weekly boat-load of women that visit every Sunday.
Some of the humour is brilliant, if not inspirational and the music is sensational, especially if you have a soft spot for 60s music such as The Kinks, The Turtles, Procol Harum, Cat Stevens, The Hollies, The Who, David Bowie, Jimi Hendrix and Cream, to name just a few.
Up until the last twenty minutes or so, I thought the film was very entertaining and could well imagine that life as a pirate radio broadcaster would have been very similar... then the film started to get stupid and I ended up wishing I'd not bothered watching the end.
It pissed me off to be honest, as did the fact that the Americans had to change the title to 'Pirate Radio' because they wouldn't understand, 'The Boat That Rocked'. For fuck's sake...
Please click on the movie poster below to find out more.

the boat that rocked the long good friday

So, on to the next film which, coincidentally, we watched this afternoon.
'The Long Good Friday' released in Britain in 1980 and written by Barrie Keeffe. It stars an incredibly young-looking Bob Hoskins and a very attractive Helen Mirren (now a Dame, I have to add). Since it's such an old film and one I've never seen before, there are many familiar faces in the cast, such as 'Charlie Fairhead' from Casualty, 'Denzil' from Only Fools and Horses, 'Terry' from Fawlty Towers, a couple of the sadistic warders from Alan Clarke's brutal borstal flick 'Scum' and a young Gillian Taylforth of Eastenders fame.
The film was produced by the late George Harrison's 'Handmade Films Ltd' and after seeing the screening of the finished film, he said that he would never have approved such a violent film (how times change).
Hoskins plays Harold Shand, a supposedly untouchable underworld kingpin whose organisation starts to collapse around him when a secret rival starts to kill off his colleagues one by one and blow up some of his favourite haunts. It's a compelling watch and has been labelled as being the best British film of all time. Despite the fact that it's now thirty years old, it is brilliant.
For more information, please click on the movie poster above.

Thursday 1st April 2010 10:45

After spending literally 24 hours in hospital, Tanya's operation had been successful and all she was leaving with was four small 'keyhole' scars having had her gall bladder removed and all its ancillaries. She'd actually come out of surgery early yesterday evening and was somewhat woozy from the anaesthetic.

So, yesterday I promised you an insight into the world of the gall bladder. Well, I can tell you that it's a small pear-shaped organ located on the underside of the liver and is used to store bile. Bile is produced in the liver and is then transferred into the gall bladder until it is needed to help break down fat. Unfortunately, the remaining residue of cholesterol can crystalise and form into gallstones varying from a few millimetres to a few centimetres in diameter. Although they can occur in all age groups but are very rare cases in the young, they become more likely as you increase with age, with women being prone to them more than men.
As well as women, the following groups of people are considered as having a greater risk of developing them such as, people who have relatives with gall stones, obese people, people with a high blood cholesterol level, women who take oestrogen-based drugs such as contraceptive pills and finally, people with diseases such as chronic intestinal inflammation.
So there you have it, a lesson all about the gall bladder and its pesky stones.

uk villages

I forgot to mention another very informative site I stumbled upon whilst trying to locate somewhere for us to visit earlier in the week.
Launched in April 2000, UKVillages.co.uk is now extensively recognised as the national and local community website for the UK and has ongoing relationships with various rural bodies such as DEFRA and The Countryside Agency.
The site provides a completely interactive home page and adjustable portal for over 31000 villages, towns, cities and suburbs in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. One of the rudimentary features of each of the UKVillages.co.uk home pages is that every community shares information with its neighbours, offering local people a chance to promote their community. It even allows tourists and visitors the chance to research trips and holidays around the UK, and gives businesses and organisations a unique opportunity to advertise their services.
For more information, please click on the logo and then type in a place name.

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